Ama me fideliter, fidem mean noto.

God, the silence kills me. The trudging through normality, through life of everyday, when all that I want is simple and one thing, and yet, not here. You must return, my love, for, you see, you've taken something that must be returned upon your going elsewhere. I thought I had something of yours, but looking now, it seems you've taken it back without my knowing. So, my dear, if you would be so kind as to give back what belongs to me, I would be much obliged. I know that no promises were made to be kept, of that I'm sure you made sure, but I know that you're a better man than this.

Error.

Silence. Shock. Didn't I just think my way out of this one? Wasn't everything okay last night? Not anymore. And what do you mean -- what does this mean -- what do you mean? Stay strong. It's gonna be okay. In the end it's all gonna be alright. But I'm here now. I'm here with the cravings... The wine. The wine and the pills. The blades. But I know I can't go back there now. So, you see, square one isn't much of an option. These tears, this heat -- where is this coming from? Everything was supposed to be okay. The trust was there, fragile, and broken now, again. Where are your eyes? Where are your hands? Where is this place your attempting to leave me at? I feel chained. I want nothing more than to run and embrace, and the worst part is I feel it might make a difference. God, another chance. Does life really offer no second chances? Why won't this erase? Goddamnit, why won't this go away? What are these stains, and what the hell am I wearing? God, do you remember those days, those nights? Do you remember the rush, the fall? The wind, the wind, and nothing. What is it that's broken? Why does everything I touch rust and rot away? Where are you going? Oh, wouldn't this be better if we were together and holding each other through the pain? Who is this other, and where is the hole that you're filling? What the hell are you doing? Come back, come back, and dance with me. I promise it will all be okay. Let me kiss you again, baby, I promise we can make it okay.

And mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

Nothing in the world, it seems, will bring back the life in me. It's all okay in the dark because I can't see in the dark. I can't feel in the dark. But the morning brings light to these wounds -- weren't they gone last night? What have I been doing in my sleep? Oh, do I haunt your dreams like you do mine? Oh, do you wake up empty from last night with her? Why isn't he enough to numb the pain when he was enough to take you away from me? Is she worth it -- is she worth this to you? Don't tell me you don't miss my smile, and when's the last time you saw me smile? Could I ever hurt enough to show you that I care? Dear god, this pain is deep, and you're not here to hold me, to make it go away. Where has my best friend gone? I see him, but his eyes have changed. He said I wasn't the same, but he's changed, he's changed. And he's safe with his shield and a pair of swords to keep me away, but I can't walk away from this. You're still holding my heart in your pocket. You took yours back and gave it to her, she's got it on her finger, and you're wearing hers around your neck, but mine is still there -- forgotten inside you. Oh, my love, to lose you was the only way to prove I needed you, but now you're gone, and I need you still, and your absence is killing me, oh, god, you're killing me. I loved you enough to let you go, but where is your love when I'm dead? Sweetie, you know you're the only one who will bring me back to life, so why do you let this go on? I did you so many wrongs, and our love wasn't enough to give me the chance to make it up. Oh, my love, I'm dying at your door, and you just can't care anymore, can you?

Not by me, but to me...

"In the middle of the night I love you. When darkness surrounds me I think of you. When tears well up and burn my eyes as acid, I can smell your hair, and the pain is gone. I love you. I always will. Saying I would die for you doesn't mean much, I don't value that as highly. I can't keep it anyway. I can't be angry with you, just hurt.

I'm not saying what you did was okay. You betrayed me. I love you. I know you think about this. Good. Only a monster wouldn't. You need to give me a hug after you read this. I love you. Please don't do this to me again. I need sleep sometimes. Thank you for telling me. It shows you love me."

"No."

"No what?"

"I won't use them. I can't."

- Taraneth & Accalia