Oh, the necrophobia.

Tired.
So fucking tired of this thing they call life.
Oh, when can I live?
When will I be free from this?
Oh, and when will I swim in the sky?
Please, my dear, envelop me.
I long for your scars, so deep.
Here, take my heart, destroy it for me.
Set it on fire.
Burn, please, I need sensation!
Oh god, when will this end?
The day I feel safe in your arms, your eyes, oh, my dreams.
Yet I'm never asleep.
Just fucking tired.

If you tolerate the poison I'll just stab you through the heart.

Amuse me, my love.
Inspire something wonderful.
Be free, my love.
Don't let my words burn your soul.
Don't let my teeth sink deeper than you can handle.

Do you even care where his hands have been?

Sit still, my love.
This struggle will lead to nothing.
If only you would let the wind brush against your cheek.
If only you would let this be.

Do you even know what you're killing in me?

You are to me what I am to him.
So who is it that you hate the most?
Everything would be so perfect if one of you would die.

Where is she?
The girl I must be to get me through this time where I must not be myself.
I ruin everything.

Would you stop?
Just take a moment to really think about this.
I need to see your tears.
Would you move already?
I hate this doubt you're forcing upon me.

The problem is the two of you.
Why won't you die?
Why don't you leave?
Too close, too far.
Unending.

There's nothing I can do.

This is all i could ever ask of you.
Don't believe my discontent.
Just let things fall.

So afraid of heights.
Catch me.
Falling.

Back to the darkness.

While we wait to see the ending, couldn't you hold me?

Ch-ch-ch-change me, baby: An adventure in indifference and horirble defeats.

Something's wrong. Something's so very wrong in here. It's all off. All off. The way I felt in the beginning, has it changed? Everything's shifting, shifting, shifting. Changes, are they always for the better? Your eyes, his eyes, what about mine? Has this changed the way you see me? Have we come to a better understanding of the things that will pass us by? Oh, how strong must this attraction be? The poles are opposite, that's for sure. Pushing, pulling. Currents rearranging themselves for something better, we hope. When will you give me the sky? Safety, safety, you're just so comfortable. Can I make myself shed your warmth for what I know I want? Was it you I had this conversation with? I can never tell if I was imagining or not. You always act like nothing happened. Can you tell me why? Tell me why it has to be this way. Kissing in the dark and waking to find that they never wanted it. Overbearing, overbearing, the things that aren't myself at all are keeping you away. God, I see you through this fence, and it's killing me. Oh, my love, shine on. Hope lives on for you. My system is merely cleansing itself for something beautiful. Sacred. Will you be my religion? Stop. Step back. Away from me. Slowly now, for this is fragile. Ever so, fragile. Her lips. What do you crave? Indulge yourself, my dear, but if it's not me that you seek, please, do not parade your joy in front of me. You're ever so indifferent. But I can hear it in your voice. Where has your passion gone? Have you yet to discover it? Oh, how tragic, that you would've lived this long. Am I writing beyond my age again? Oh, sweetie, you terrify me. No more reflections, let's move on. I'm sick of always searching, let's just go for a walk. No intentions. What are your intentions? Please, baby, tell me you have a plan.

Awkward Headaches: Kissing Salamanders

Everyone tells me that this is wrong. Nothing I can do to stop it. To stop them. Nothing I will ever do will make you leave my head. My head. The pain. Your eyes. It all makes sense now. Almost. But it never quite will, now will it? Time. Oh, time. When will things change for us? Quilts are cozy. Feathers on wings. Roses, roses, roses. And raindrops. Frost. The winter kills us all. And darkness. Will the windows shine for yet another day? Will the stars revolve, elvolve, puzzles from the twlight sky? Oh, my dear, my love, you are so sweet to me. Rotting logs and leaves. Small children play in the creek in the ravine, and time slips away. The green, the green, the green. Oh how I miss those timeless days. Will you bring me back to that place, my love? Oh this waiting is intolerable. The music, no words, just the music. When will you comprehend my metaphors? When will you see they mean nothing to your eyes. Your eyes. Oh god, those eyes. Please, just kiss me one more time. The moonlight. Opposite of what you think it might means. I need you. Envelope me, as air. Vulnerability. Oh please, make me vulnerable. Stab me. Kill me. As long as you touch me. Oh god, please. Touch me once more. Your skin is my cocaine. And those eyes. Soothe me with your voice, my love. I just can't separate. everything is one. You and you and me. When will we break free? Please, promise you won't leave. I love you. but I see you smile to yourself. Please, don't laugh at me. Hold me. Know me. Holding on to your bedsheets at four o'clock a.m. is everything. Nothing in my mind straightens. Everything is swirling. I know you take this the wrong way. I'm so very wrong for you. Can we make it right?

Worth a risk.

I do know.
Oh god, I know.
Do you know how long I've wanted this?
Has all this waiting -- I'm always waiting -- has it proved nothing?
How can you doubt?
If you do, then you must understand my insecurities.
I want to be safe.
With you.
I want to be close to you.
Will you try to comfort me?
Do you understand my definition?
Intricately planned thoughts -- written out over years --they are not easily translated to words.
But try, my dear, to at least listen to what I tell you.
Know that I live in a world where answers are not definite.
Everything is grey.
And I am a paradox.
But I'll try to keep it simple -- for your sake.
And, very simply, you make me very happy.
In a strange non-euphoric way, something I've never quite felt before.
I may be uncertain, but I know this is good.
Oh, time, when will you be right?

Goddamn, not this again!

Here I go again, wasting another melody on you.
And there you go again, content inside your own point of view.
But where am I supposed to be?
Is it alright that I feel this way?
Where am I supposed to be?
If I tell you this, am I pushing you away?

Oh, here we go again, wasting another few days of our time.
And there I go again, crushed by feeling very out of line.
But where exactly is it that you are?
Do you feel alright wherever that place is?
And where the hell is it that you are?
Could you tell me that it's my eyes that you miss?