Kissing Salamanders (Pt. II)

The sun grazes on this open field of broken psalms.
Who were we then?
Lies caught up in your footprints on this path.
Could you intend to be any other boy?
Smoke carries us across the waves today.
I've traveled many galaxies this way -- without you.
The haze obstructs my view of your demise.
But that's alright, my dear, it's not mine to enjoy.
Who were we then?
Time caught up in the spindles in our eyes.
Might I intend to be any other girl?
Kindred hearts, they all burn the same.
I've observed before myself this way -- without you.

My creation leaves for another sun. Turn your back, but always remember, I am in you.

Break Me Down

I see
Everything
I hear everything
Thoughts and sound and
Noise
Dust is gone and permeating
Colors insinuate what I cannot
Reflecting
Light is its own
Flavors retreating
Back in to the silence
Ghostly images
Surrounding your so-called reality
Why feel with fingers?
Nerves are everywhere
Why feel with nerves?
The mind is inviting
See yourself without a mirror
Void and silent
You're the only thing that's moving
Still
Black and white and primaries
Nothing overcomes it's meaning
Pupils twitch at things unseen
Imagined
Movie screens
Distorted
The words you say translate into
"I love you... kind of..."
The things I feel you do to me at night
In spite of her and sunlight
You need to bend
I need to see you inside
I see your face
I wonder what hides behind the glass
Time stipulates her own way
She sees the here and now and always
Frightened seeing through
Now it's relative
Object to things said years ago
Forget what made things relevant
Subject to principalities unheard
Unbroken
Whip around to see the ground
The red in me is almost over
To bend and break at this point
Would be pointless
I see
Everything
I hear everything
Dust and noise and
Sound
Thoughts leave me permeated
Rape my pores internally
Grip the threads that hold us steady
Tear the veins that beat me wholly
Leaving one thing to be decided
Restless in a golden age
Seemingly voluptuous
But charmingly cantankerous
This noise is all it seems to be
Mocking what this used to be
I see your eyes
So far away
Actions screaming
"I could care less."
Counting cards and stacking books
Yellow pages bandaged in my made-up languages
"Love" was never meant to be
Words with such propensity to kill
Stare at me
Don't see a thing
It's always, always rubbing off
The masks are faded
Rubbing off
Disguises made of nothing I can see
Everything
I hear everything
Sound and dust and
Noise permeating
Disconcerting pictures on the brain
Sleep never seems to help a thing
Insanity touches borders of my senses
Teasing symptoms yet uncovered
Drowning in a pool of your unrest
Conceptually the worst of these is this
Inside out you see that I'm a wreck
Of colors in the world to be unchecked
Blue and green and white and pink
Red and brown and you and me
Everything
I see
Noise and thoughts
I hear
Dusty pictures abandoned for another way of life
Pores dig deeper the farther down you go
Can you see
Everything
Dismiss
Everything
Catch it all off guard
Who would have known
It's all in me
And now it's yours to show
Do you like or are you scared of things to come
The end again and nothing's here at all

Don't you dare interpret this without my dictionary.

You're not a life experience to be had, my dear. I'm not using you for the sake of my adrenaline's needs. Sometimes I wander far beyond the dimensions I'm allowed. Beautiful words for their sake have cut deep into my eyes. Do rubescent pupils prove my penitence? Reaching for sense, I find none. Regret at weaving tangled webs, and no way out alive. Pinching nerves to try to see what I have done. I'm dead, it seems, and funny that I asked you such a thing. A better answer should have been received before I plunged into the black hole of twisted dreams not meant to repeated in the morning. Dreams not remembered in the daylight, unless you're one to remember everything. Don't play sick games if you're offended. Scream and scrape the layers off my scaly skin. I've never been a mind reader, and neither has anyone else. So don't be surprised when we're both wrong on the first try. Please run it by me before you brush me off so quickly. I was spinning, and seeing things inside my eyes. I try to tell you, too late, that my brain is warped tonight. I'm whipping back to darkened nights on charter buses. Traps were laid so I would be the whore. And she was so much nicer than I could hope to be. Don't think about yourself and I'll be fine, he said. But in the end he liked the things he could control, and I'm left dumbfounded. You're not that way, you're not that way, you're not that way. I don't read minds, and I can't say what you want me to. Just tell me what I meant, and I'll deny it. Please, tell me what I said, and I'll forsake it.

Election Day

My insanity locks in the future told six years ago.
The death outside appropriate for what I feel.
Friendless in the days when I can't see myself.
Our season passing once again before my eyes.
Burning skin and rotting teeth will prove my sin.
Empty stomach preceding any lies you tell.
Shattered, empty, holy, borrowed, broken, used.

Jack and Jill

The end again and all I am is where I was before. A rotting skull with rotting words and tiny little swords. The wounds are covered shabbily, excuses running thin. The end again and everything's two-hundred-eighty-six. The alphabet's unceasing curse is running through the folds of unwashed sheets and dirty feet and laundry two weeks old. The end again and everything's exactly how it seems. Re-interpretate the exact way that all this came to be. Your eyes close as you tune out my sorry little pleas. The end again and all I am is right back on my knees. No fortitude from either side, I hide my lips in shame. The wandering mind is cursed and blind in a variety of ways. The end again, to all who've seen this coming miles away. You're incorrect, this is in fact the way it shouldn't be. These infantile words explain what eyes don't comprehend. The rhythm's off, but I'm afraid of what comes in your stead. The end again and all I see is our world standing still. For all these years you never saw the wishes unfulfilled. In your absence something else developed in my mind. Not so crazy next to someone else who loses time. I'm far away and seeing things that I could never do. They come out still and somehow you don't see them as I do. The end again and how the hell am I to make ammends? For things I said and tears I bled, your promises that fell. I hate the way you force me back to thirteen year old ways of rhyming phrases, inbred names, and everything's the same. The end again and nothing is the way I make it seem.

Empty and holy, I depart

Redundancy

Ocean depths surround again
Rock me in your waves
I'm sleeping in my dreams
Massive shadows dance in spaces yet unseen
Your face reflected a million times before it gets to me

Itching to be near the shore again
Caught in currents not my own
Yet familiar
Slip and caress my thirsty pores
Nothing is the same

A green hue
Inappropriate unto itself
The weight of it all is suffocating
Smile nonetheless
For this is not your world

Use Me

Use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me use me .............

Masochist.

N-n-n-n-no one makes me feel like this.
Obsessed.
Enchanting.
N-n-n-n-no one makes me feel so stupid.
I feel you.
Inside me.
P-p-p-please just don't stop.
Don't st-...
Don't...
Don't sto-...
Yes, please...
Don't stop.
N-n-n-n-no one will know.

Black

We float on top
Wind our hair, wind in our eyes
Buildings crumble, but we don't fall
Can't quite fit it together
But we know what it will be
Cold up here, but there's warmth in you
Someone else is in control
And I'm so afraid of falling
Hold towers in their place, and hold my hand, and don't let go
Funny how nothing else is flying

Le Ville Verte

Darkness, darkness
Fading by the light of this unknown planet
You're in orbit, but it's not my season, babe
Heavenly bodyscapes caress what my eyes don't see
You're on the horizon
Your flesh is the winter to my sticky summer heat
You're in season, but I'm inside today

Let me be
Just let me be alone tonight
My lips are sore and cracked
My fever is contagious, no need
Just let me be alone

Morning's coming, but I shut my eyes
No need for me to see the light this time
I'll lie here unmoving
Listen to me breathe and know
Today's not the day for me to try

I need to be with you right now
You're gone, and I'm lost
I see reflections when you're gone

This imperfection leaves my eyelids heavy
How did I end up here
It's a darkness that's unfamiliar
Thick and unmoving
Stars in another universe pick their way through the scabs
Bleeding

Discomfort in the hole where nothing can be
Empty in a place where everything fits
What I wouldn't give for a trip right now

White walls sit in my corner
And I stare
I haven't a home anymore, it seems
Will you survive without me?

I'm gone right now
Gone for the time being
Wandering
Everything leads out to this
Nothing leads back to where I thought
Mazes, mazes
No fire to light my way
No shadow to pretty up the bland

Heavier, stretched out
You still reach out to touch
Not now

Darkness, darkness
I see through to nothing
Light wouldn't make a difference here
Nothing to see

Fruit is rotting
Seeds decay
And I die with it all

Tongues

This bitter taste lingers in the back of my throat. I taste it mostly when I realize I should be the one understanding. But I was always too easy. Is she more of a challenge this time? I hate the darkness in her eyes. I hate the sunlight in your smile. You used to sparkle for me. You light up so easily now for everyone except. Do you know that you still put me to shame? I hope you're proud of that.

Breathe me in

I miss the opportunities that you presented. Now every time I read your words, I remember the resentment I used to feel at the sound of your name. Blacktop breezes find their way to your face, and your smile is the same, but my pulse isn't racing like before. I know a touch might spark the thrill, but we keep our distance. Muted, but deeper, a dark river through my lungs, I remember. Eyes closed, the tender moments float their way to the top once in a while. I flirt with thoughts of another winter together, but I melt at the site of his face, and I know we're through. Light shakes itself, and the pieces drift into my corner. I love you both, but not the same, and none of this is yours. So many chances, what you have is yours to keep, but expect no more. My muse, eternal, but only in these vivid dreams.

A Scarlet Silence

I’ve thought my way back to you again
And I find there’s nothing new to say

Oh, you don’t see
‘Cause you won’t look at me
Your eyes are dark and cold
Oh, you can’t see
The things you took from me
And all the lies you’ve told yourself
Have set you free

Just Kidding

Looking back on my life you were so worth the time.
To feel your hand in mine is all I could ask for.
All the pained memories have now come to be something.
And when it all slips away we can look back say...

"Ah, memories!
Ah, remember me!"

Looking back through your mind will I be worth the time?
Will you feel my lips as they brush past your own?
All the nights and the stars that were sparking inside us.
And when it all slips away we can look back and say...

"Ah, memories!
Ah, remember me!"

With the lights off, with the lights off,
In the stillness, in the quiet of your bed,
Will you remember?
Please remember all the words,
All the words we said.

Looking back in your eyes will this be worth the time,
And the pain and the losses endured?
Reassure me that now we will both be okay.
But if it all slips away we will look back and say...

"Ah, memories!
Ah, remember me!"

Simple.

Words off my lips meet yours in empty space
When can this end?
Post-pone this break down until the end of May
As long as I can...
But none of this means anything if we're together
These miles collapse in your whispers of forever

Sober. (by myself and Jeremy)

JELLO
green
everything is green
sometimes
except summer
BURN
WITHER
raisins
and sunsets
no one likes an orange apple
except camels

HIPPOPOTAMUS!
OCTOPUS!
AND flamingos
dancing

flowers
in the wind
all die
but only
when bananas rape ponies
HATS
ARE TURQUOISE
ALL THE TIME
unless it's snowing

yellow seals eat naughty cucumbers
but only when the ship has 14 nannies

kittens!
burning
in the sunshine
like acid
and cows
PURPLE
nipples

major goats
like satin
over the interstate
right next to insane chariots

FIRE
not extinguished
by leaves
yet
by nowhere moons
blades of ant horns
fall

Empty Promises.

Your innocence does not prove a thing to me. You are guilty of the greatest crime. Look at me with empty eyes and apathy. Point the finger effortlessly, but not to the mirror. You may call me a harlot, but don't pretend that you like it. Offer your excuses at the alter of cowardice, I am not the fool here. Your mask of glass reveals nothing when broken. Recite your lines and bow as I bring up the lights. Careful, dear, those thorns bear roses.

Because I know better.

Dark mist pools around what never could have been. A flash of light and I am off to nowhere. Teleporting is not as painless as it sounds. I am nothing but a conglomeration of subatomic particles and electric stimuli. Shooting from my fingertips like stars, concepts of my face begin to alternate. Undergo the alterations and smile pretty. Close up, we all look the same. You cannot breathe without me. Inside your lungs and through your veins, I rush through your heart in a moment of vulnerable intimacy, and we will never be the same. Soft now, like the quiet breeze that touched you when you closed your eyes. I see through the glass pane of your one man show. My skin is tough and scaly, so I know you could name me at a glance. Your excuses amount to less than your forgiveness. Hatred flowing from our eyes and clashing, leaves me to reminisce about our tender firsts. When will you call me back to say what you could never, for pride's sake? Another speck of sparkling victory for your crown. In the end your sins will find you out. Slither away, but the end is always near. Inevitably we meet and time stands still, crystals of frozen breath find themselves lost between us. I know just how you feel.

Unwritten.

When will the past make room for the future, and when will I smile in the face of you? This hate just keeps us spinning. I've given you control, but now we're out of time, and all I need is the embrace of a hundred dreams. They say the truth could set us free, but you are blind, and you refuse to see that I'm still here, and I can't leave. The voices tell me every word you dictate to their pen. Etchings in the fabric of this living room furniture, and I relive every moment. Your eyes are staring back at me, and I feel the pain. A searing yesterday chains me to a wall of loathing. My fingertips are raw and bleeding from clawing at a door called May. Her eyes are sweet and dripping boiling sugar down her cheeks. Sour acid teases the back of my tongue in response to your existence, but still, I'd drop the dagger for those two words.

My love.

To be separated, love, is to be torn apart
So uncomplicated, love, with you I left my heart
I find my fingers tremble without your steady hand
Oh, my love, how long till I am whole again

My love, you’re all of me, my love
My love, you’re all of me

I find that your absence, love, it’s hard for me to think
It’s for you hand I grab, love, it’s you to which I cling
I hear your whispers, feel your breath at night in bed
I turn at night to touch you, I feel emptiness instead

My love, you’re all of me, my love
My love, you’re all of me

Words could never hold this love
The stars cannot comprehend
They have never seen a love like this
But they are there every time we kiss
Oh words could not express

Hold me now too tightly, love, we can’t be close enough
Your heart, it beats inside me, love, you and I are one
I feel you in the dark, I taste you in my dreams
It hurts to be without you, it kills to feel you bleed

My love, you’re all of me, my love
Words could never hold this love
My love, you’re all of me