My creation leaves for another sun. Turn your back, but always remember, I am in you.

Break Me Down

I see
Everything
I hear everything
Thoughts and sound and
Noise
Dust is gone and permeating
Colors insinuate what I cannot
Reflecting
Light is its own
Flavors retreating
Back in to the silence
Ghostly images
Surrounding your so-called reality
Why feel with fingers?
Nerves are everywhere
Why feel with nerves?
The mind is inviting
See yourself without a mirror
Void and silent
You're the only thing that's moving
Still
Black and white and primaries
Nothing overcomes it's meaning
Pupils twitch at things unseen
Imagined
Movie screens
Distorted
The words you say translate into
"I love you... kind of..."
The things I feel you do to me at night
In spite of her and sunlight
You need to bend
I need to see you inside
I see your face
I wonder what hides behind the glass
Time stipulates her own way
She sees the here and now and always
Frightened seeing through
Now it's relative
Object to things said years ago
Forget what made things relevant
Subject to principalities unheard
Unbroken
Whip around to see the ground
The red in me is almost over
To bend and break at this point
Would be pointless
I see
Everything
I hear everything
Dust and noise and
Sound
Thoughts leave me permeated
Rape my pores internally
Grip the threads that hold us steady
Tear the veins that beat me wholly
Leaving one thing to be decided
Restless in a golden age
Seemingly voluptuous
But charmingly cantankerous
This noise is all it seems to be
Mocking what this used to be
I see your eyes
So far away
Actions screaming
"I could care less."
Counting cards and stacking books
Yellow pages bandaged in my made-up languages
"Love" was never meant to be
Words with such propensity to kill
Stare at me
Don't see a thing
It's always, always rubbing off
The masks are faded
Rubbing off
Disguises made of nothing I can see
Everything
I hear everything
Sound and dust and
Noise permeating
Disconcerting pictures on the brain
Sleep never seems to help a thing
Insanity touches borders of my senses
Teasing symptoms yet uncovered
Drowning in a pool of your unrest
Conceptually the worst of these is this
Inside out you see that I'm a wreck
Of colors in the world to be unchecked
Blue and green and white and pink
Red and brown and you and me
Everything
I see
Noise and thoughts
I hear
Dusty pictures abandoned for another way of life
Pores dig deeper the farther down you go
Can you see
Everything
Dismiss
Everything
Catch it all off guard
Who would have known
It's all in me
And now it's yours to show
Do you like or are you scared of things to come
The end again and nothing's here at all

Don't you dare interpret this without my dictionary.

You're not a life experience to be had, my dear. I'm not using you for the sake of my adrenaline's needs. Sometimes I wander far beyond the dimensions I'm allowed. Beautiful words for their sake have cut deep into my eyes. Do rubescent pupils prove my penitence? Reaching for sense, I find none. Regret at weaving tangled webs, and no way out alive. Pinching nerves to try to see what I have done. I'm dead, it seems, and funny that I asked you such a thing. A better answer should have been received before I plunged into the black hole of twisted dreams not meant to repeated in the morning. Dreams not remembered in the daylight, unless you're one to remember everything. Don't play sick games if you're offended. Scream and scrape the layers off my scaly skin. I've never been a mind reader, and neither has anyone else. So don't be surprised when we're both wrong on the first try. Please run it by me before you brush me off so quickly. I was spinning, and seeing things inside my eyes. I try to tell you, too late, that my brain is warped tonight. I'm whipping back to darkened nights on charter buses. Traps were laid so I would be the whore. And she was so much nicer than I could hope to be. Don't think about yourself and I'll be fine, he said. But in the end he liked the things he could control, and I'm left dumbfounded. You're not that way, you're not that way, you're not that way. I don't read minds, and I can't say what you want me to. Just tell me what I meant, and I'll deny it. Please, tell me what I said, and I'll forsake it.

Election Day

My insanity locks in the future told six years ago.
The death outside appropriate for what I feel.
Friendless in the days when I can't see myself.
Our season passing once again before my eyes.
Burning skin and rotting teeth will prove my sin.
Empty stomach preceding any lies you tell.
Shattered, empty, holy, borrowed, broken, used.

Jack and Jill

The end again and all I am is where I was before. A rotting skull with rotting words and tiny little swords. The wounds are covered shabbily, excuses running thin. The end again and everything's two-hundred-eighty-six. The alphabet's unceasing curse is running through the folds of unwashed sheets and dirty feet and laundry two weeks old. The end again and everything's exactly how it seems. Re-interpretate the exact way that all this came to be. Your eyes close as you tune out my sorry little pleas. The end again and all I am is right back on my knees. No fortitude from either side, I hide my lips in shame. The wandering mind is cursed and blind in a variety of ways. The end again, to all who've seen this coming miles away. You're incorrect, this is in fact the way it shouldn't be. These infantile words explain what eyes don't comprehend. The rhythm's off, but I'm afraid of what comes in your stead. The end again and all I see is our world standing still. For all these years you never saw the wishes unfulfilled. In your absence something else developed in my mind. Not so crazy next to someone else who loses time. I'm far away and seeing things that I could never do. They come out still and somehow you don't see them as I do. The end again and how the hell am I to make ammends? For things I said and tears I bled, your promises that fell. I hate the way you force me back to thirteen year old ways of rhyming phrases, inbred names, and everything's the same. The end again and nothing is the way I make it seem.

Empty and holy, I depart