Broken.

I am a stupid, useless, and worthless little bitch.
I just don't care.
I will never survive this.
I hate myself.
I can't take this.
I'm going to die.
I'm never going to stop.
I am me.
I am the devil.
Or not.
Because even my demons hate me.
They beat on me.
They scream at me.
I am a stupid, useless, and worthless little bitch.

You tell me to talk about it.
And yet not to identify with it.
You tell me to be myself, to speak my mind.
But you're scared of me.
And when I say what I mean.
You tell me to shut-up.
You tell me to stop.

Sunshine, joy, rainbows.
That's just not me.
Blood, darkness, tears.
I wish it wasn't.
I need somebody.
I'm not sure who.
But whoever you are.
Please come soon.
I love you.
I need you to love me.
Because I can't.

I'll smile if that's what it takes.
If you'll leave me alone then.
But behind it all.
I'll still be here.
I am scarred.
I am bleeding.
I will always bleed.
You can't stop me.
You can't escape your guilty hell.
Anymore than I can escape my own.
So you care about yours.
And I'll take on mine.
But don't think I will help you.
I'm just too weak.
But I'll smile for you.
If that's what it takes.

Where are you?
Why aren't you here?
I need you now.
I'm going to die.
Please keep me safe.
Hold me.
Love me.
Tell me it's all okay.
Fill me with your lies.

I am darkness.
I am what you fear most.
I am not crazy.
I am only me.
I am imperfection.
I am ugly.
I am what makes you scream.
Will you die with me?

Suffocate me.
Beat me.
Scream all you want.
But I will haunt you.
Be careful of the promises you make.

I am scared.
I am alone.
I am the thing I most fear.
I am me.
I am unloved.
I am screaming.
I am bleeding.
I am drowning.
I am sobbing.
I am desparate.
I will die.
Will you save me?

Blood.
Metal.
Stinging.
Soaking.
Bruising.
Scarring.
Veins.
Life.
Death.

I slip away.
Darkness.
I will be cold.
I will be nothing.
Instead of something.
That cannot be.
Please hate me.

I am an angel.
With broken halo.
And tattered wings.
Never will I fly.

I am my demon.
Claws sharpened.
And tongue ready to kill.
Never will I escape.