I feel so stuck inside my own head. My brain never shuts off. I’m always thinking something. 

There are always words there. Why can’t I get them out. 

How is there so much inside of me. 

People assume you like being different, that you must be doing it on purpose (for attention). 

I don’t want attention. I want to be comfortable. 

And all I was taught was to cater to other people’s comfort. 

And I think that I thought that that meant that everyone else would also be looking out for my comfort. 

That everyone else pushed through all of the time, like I did. 

That everyone else was trying their best, and I just needed too much. 

Everything, my whole life, has been a trick. My entire life, people have been manipulating me. 

I was somehow boring and too much all at once. 

I spent a lot of time alone. I learned very, very early to escape. 

I think it did actually mean something. I knew I wasn’t safe at home.

People thought I didn’t know how to not get my way. What was my way?