endless and suffocating

How long can I wait?
Probably forever —
My optimism is endless and suffocating.

I don’t know if you’ll ever be there.
They say if you love something —
You should let it go.

They leave out the part where most things don’t love you back.
Or even if they do —
That doesn’t mean they can return.

Someone can love the shit out of you and still not be able to be with you.

They will probably try, but it will be broken.

You will both be broken.

But at least it’s love.

Is this love?
If I better understood would I be enough?
If I loved you better, would it hurt this much?
I’m sorry.
I can’t tell.
My memories are twisted.
Is any of this real?

Is this love?
Is the coldness of your heart hidden in your eyes?
If I looked harder, could I uncover the lies?
I’m sorry.
I can’t tell.
Your words are twisted.
They dismiss and conceal.

Is this love?
Mutual misunderstandings, but good intent?
Would you be better if I could be patient?
I’m sorry.
I can’t tell.
My nerves are twisted.
I don’t know how I feel.