I'm so glad I escaped you
like a rat in the sewer lines

The lines of our hearts
are broken once more

And your face it lingers
in mine right there
always right there

Lingering
your deep eyes used to hold so much

Depth that was never there
a mirage of wisdom

You were never very good at any of it

Your face is a rat
your fingers curl around empty space
I'm not there anymore, you idiot

I chased the tangled string into knots
you thought you were the puppet master
but you could never catch me

I am uncatchable
you are not a catch at all
I fantasize about
that question in your eyes

When you realize I was never playing your fucking game
coward
I could have made you

I was one step ahead at all times
you tried to build a cage that I wouldn't notice but I knew you from the beginning.

I came back willingly
and I left the same

I feel this constant urge to be writing down all of my thoughts, but they come too fast, and they don’t make any sense outside of me. If I look too directly at any one thought, it vaporizes like a cloud. Sometimes things feel profound at birth but immediately annoying upon observation. I've learned to keep my funt thoughts to myself. They’re only fun to me. And now they can’t escape my brain without passing through a filter, without being analyzed, without being scoured clean. It’s like I have to go into a trance to channel them. The ghosts inside my head. A pool of boiling ghosts. (That’s a funny callback that no one in my life now would understand.)